Hi I am back here.. after a few months of silence, i am now back to share a few things that has been transpired so far in my life. I am glad to tell that I had finish school. For 5 years and 5 months of struggle in keeping my academic ivory tower strong and intact in facing the turmoils of examinations from various subject areas, I have finally made it. At long last, I would be part of those people who would walk with pride and happiness after achieving their fields of study. Wahaha.. this is soo deep. Sorry I got carried away, wahaha. Well, I am very much glad that I had done it with the help of friends and family. With God’s grace, I was able to make it through it all. However amidst the happiness, I also had worries. Well, I am a little bit paranoid because I am still thinking of unforeseen events in the future that might hinder my graduation. But my friends and people close to my heart had shared their views and somehow provide me calmness. They all assure me that my graduation is an inevitable event on April. I really am hoping and believing what they said is true. You can’t really blame me if I feel this way. I am both excited and worried for the coming graduation this 2010. Hope everything would turned out fine.
Archive for Reflections
…getting old…
Christmas is approaching but its not the topic here, its my birthday that is. Well, I kindda despise the idea that another year has been added to the number years I have lived. But I had to face it. I am departing to an age where most men are wed or mostly successful in fulfilling their dreams yet I am not one of those. I am still stuck in things they call schooling and imaturity. Well, everyone has their place in time. And my place is this though its kindda “not common” on my perspective. But I had to deal with it. Someone asked me “Have you done anything for the past years you have?”. Well, things are clearer to me. I understood a few things and figured out a lot of stuffs. I may not be that mature but I am less imature than when I was a few years back. I am still single though but hopeless looking and waiting for the someone. There is still a room for making friends in my heart and for someone I could share my life with. Yes, I am getting old.. but not really on numbers but of things that was revealed to me in the years of my life.
When we are not happy?
According to a priest in his sermon, we are not happy when we don’t love. He based his idea on the fact that when someone loves, things would look different in that person’s eyes. A person that loves is happy being with the one he/she loves even if he/she would have to wait longer. When asked if that person is hungry and given that that person is in love, that person would not mind eating coz that person feels no need to eat. Even though quite short in cash, but for the person he/she loves he/she wants the best for that person. Love shortens our pessimism and widens our horizon. Love gives us reason to smile each day and be happy of what we already have and soon to have 
its good to love
I know its really good to love. Although they say its a painful thing, but they can’t deny that love made their lives more interesting and meaningful. Being able to carry something for the one you love makes the weight meaningless. Though you not interested by topic but you enjoy the conversation because your listening to voice of the person. Just by holding that person close to you, it makes that moment breathtaking. You never get tired of being with the person you love. Time goes by fast and you wished your moment together would last longer. You might think I am quite shallow on how I see this whole thing about love but let me say this to you, love is such an extraordinary feeling that for an ordinay guy like me it showed me , that with this feeling, fears, anxieties, ironies and odds would stumbled down at my feet.
Finding reason
Have you ever felt lonely? Well, if your normal then maybe once in your life you had been lonely. Being lonely, happy, or sad or even being angry is part of being human. But have you ever felt that you feel nothing? or the feeling of emptiness inside?. Well, i sometimes feel it too. Sometimes I see myself looking into the blankness. My mind tend to rest in the imagination. When I look up at stars at night, there’s something inside me that wants to be where the stars are.. because i think in those where the stars are lie the reason why I am here.. No one really knows what he is about to be until he is. Or no one really knows what he is destinied to be until he fulfilled his destiny…(libog?.. saunz)…. hmm.. sometimes because of thinking so much I just close my eyes and feel the breeze touching my body or the whistle of the wind in my ears. I know everything has a reason that’s why i want to know it.. for me knowing the reason would dignified every action I make in this life. And it would give meaning to why I am living for. Right now, I just live coz I need to or coz God give me time.. But for wanting to live, I dont know. It just so useless when everything you do you feel no soul in it. There is something missing.. Yet I dont know. Basic animal instinct strive me to go on each day. BUt you know what, each time my mind lift itself from the reality, I really pray that I would someday find my reason to live. Because I am like a zombie..(moving/living yet have no life). Everyday for me is just like another day. Another day to spend with people I hoped I never had known. ANother day of hardship yet I dont know what is this for me, not what other want me to think. Another day trying to convince myself that each morning/day has something to offer yet sometimes it has nothing. Maybe I just think too much of looking else where for the reason of my life.. maybe it was just right there before my eyes.. Once a friend said to me the most obvious things are the hardest things to notice… Maybe its true or maybe it is not.. i dont know..there are times I felt tired of thinking, I sometimes wished that at night when I closed my eyes, I would see no sunrise. But as you can see, God had not given my wish. Maybe someday when I fulfill what I have to do or if I had found my reason I would find peace. right now…… all i have to do… is do what I have to do coz maybe, just maybe on those things I will figure out the reason………
Rules of Love
Note: A friend of mind texted me this message.. I just wanna share it. I got a few comments and I hope you post your’s too..
Rules of L.o.V.e :
1.) Never kiss when you are not committed.
comment : well most people treat kissing as a welcoming gesture other than showing intimacy. I can say is…. never kiss kung wala kai toothbrush ok? HUman courtesy lang..
2.) Never expect, just Hope
comment: Just hope? Well be practical sad oi.. dont just hope but do something.
3.) Never love a taken man or woman
comment: the word “taken” is so vague and ambiguous. Does it mean that it is married?
4.) Never fall for a friend
comment: Of the ten rules of love I receive from text msgs, all have this –> never fall for a friend. Why? does love need to be played safe? And besides, there are circumstances that this dont apply. And 6 out of ten boy-girl-friendship ended in marriage.
5.) Don’t Fool Yourself
comment: What love teaches us is the fact that though reality sucks, reality is still reality. Embracing love is embracing reality.
ignoring someone
“why ignoring this person doesn’t upset me?” hehe.. i have this weird question on my mind yesterday. A friend of mine answered that though that person is a friend, ignoring did not hurt its because of the reason why I am ignoring that person. She added that if that situation or scenario that happen between that person and me would fall between us, I might or she might feel the same as I am feeling. Well, she was right into saying those things. Perhaps, one might consider that ignoring someone is sometimes one of our best possible solution to problems that seemed hopeless into solving it Its not running away or not facing the problem between the 2 individuals but rather by providing space and less interaction might create a better understanding on how the things had happened. Well, I am glad that somehow things turned out the way I wanted to be… ignoring that someone until things would settle down between us.
Unveiled Thoughts
Fear threaten our mind to hide what has been the thoughts that lingers inside. Worries or anxieties confuses even our heart into forcing us to do things we are not really entitled to do. May we all share the idea that “truth in all of its faces has one way of unveiling itself into the eyes of the one who seeks it”
on love, I know
They say love is immeasurable and that no scale that exists in this world that could bound the greatness and mysteries of love. All we could do is deal with approximations which itself are very far from what love is.
being trapped in a relationship
his is not an unusual problem. A lot of early couples are experiencing this kind of issue. Trapped in the sense that the person in that relationship feels no future in their relationship. But he/she cant give up that person because his/her partner still holds on to them. And the partner is still believing that they can still make it.
It really sucks to be into something that is not working well. Honestly and open communication between partners really helps . The hardest part is taking the risk by deciding to let go and holding on to the decision for the better good. Ignoring wont drive this away cause a time will come that it would be a lot harder to fix the problem.
A lot of people experiencing this thinks that letting go or forcing their other partner to break their relationship is being cruel to their partner. Specially when they see that their partner is trying his/her best in holding on.
But this is not the case, it doesn’t mean that if the other one is trying to make ends meet in your relationship. Then everything would turned out to be fine. THe issue here is that you not growing as a couple if one ignores the issue because it would be cruelty or wrong and the other one is covering it up with efforts.
Its hard specially if you have been together for quite a long time and had beaten a lot of odds together. And it would a sad thing to admit to yourselves that your not growing close but farther apart. Admittance that you had this issue, honesty on speaking, listening, and had a courage to decide are the things you should put in mind.
